My baby relents
His squirming and grunting
Like puddy together
Our bodies ease into rest.
Dad swifts him up
Away to his crib
To be swaddled with sleep.
Blissful dreams call for us –
He sweetly submits.
I cannot.
Stone captures my will,
Restrains my movement.
Think, think of the things
Things that cannot wait,
Things that have waited,
Things that need me,
Things that are coming up,
Things I had hoped to do,
Things that should be done,
Things that would have been done
If I could just get up and go.
The house is still with slumber
While I am body numb,
Mind flashing with screens
Of beautifuls, brilliants, enviables,
Strangers.
Put it down. Turn it off.
But what things must I do if I do?
Stay. A habit. An addiction.
In the dark
Not ready to confront the things
Prevented from leaving
By my own unwilling limbs
And intoxicated neurons.
Unable to filter or function.
Informally feeling failure
Frustration, desperate, bitter,
Alone.
